So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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