Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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