You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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