Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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