I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I want a musical about memes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
