Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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