Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
