ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
