If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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