I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
