Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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