He asked to "fluff my boner.."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Randomize
