its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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