omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
