Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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