last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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