I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
