Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
