i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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