Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
