Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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