lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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