I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
