What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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