just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
