Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
