I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
