ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
