Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
