Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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