I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
