She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
