i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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