12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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