WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
