I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
