Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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