she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
