he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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