after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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