hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
