Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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