I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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