After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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