i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
