I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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