Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
