I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
