somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
