I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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