i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Randomize
