"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So many bounce houses so little time
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
