He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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