I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
