I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
