"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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