IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
