After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's blow job season.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
